Category Archives: Life

Oh hello!

A month and a half into Spring and I finally feel like the remnants of a long winter have shifted.

What am I enjoying at the moment?

  • A vibrant, nearly-11-month-old girl. Zoe loves people, is very curious, and has the sweetest smile in all the land!
  • The warm, extended evenings. No longer do I feel that pressing anxiety of dinner preparations, bath and bed time. Everything feels easier in these warmer months.
  • Our suburb. As a country-kid I never thought I’d grow to love living in the city, but I can’t get enough of this place. There’s a new shop to browse every day along King St, and the parks dotted between apartment blocks and terraces are absolute sanctuaries.
  • Nights on the lounge watching movies with Izaac in instalments. I’m always too tired to make it through in one go.
  • Planning for an overseas holiday we have at the end of the year.
  • The college social life. End of year event planning is in full swing, Monday night BBQ’s have started and time spent in the playground pushing Zoe on the swing with the last of the day’s sun warming my back.
  • Daydreaming about this old blog again. It’s been in winter hibernation mode too.
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Doing it alone

Izaac left for college mission this morning. Even though he’s out at college other days, the place feels more empty knowing he won’t be coming in the door tonight.

So far so good on the homefront though. There’s only been tears from the littlest member of the household, but that’s usual. I’ve chopped the vegetables for my dinner during the little one’s naptime to ensure I actually eat something. Even if they are raw. I’m hopeful that the evening won’t be too rough and I’ll get to curl up on the lounge watching some hideously chicky TV on DVD.

If you don’t hear from me again, you’ll know things have taken a turn for the worst.

Forgiving and forgetting?

I’ve never really had to forgive in a big way. That is, no one has ever really said or done anything that, after a short cool-down period, I haven’t been able to forgive. It seems that I’ve just had little day to day moments of needing to forgive, when somebody has spoken too quickly, another has come down too hard, or someone has embarrassed me.

Recently, however, I’ve experienced two separate hurts which have challenged my ability to forgive. Having been slapped in the face with the sin of other people, I’ve discovered that I have to fight with every ounce of my strength not to want to grab hold of it and revel in their failings. Perhaps if I expose the ways in which I’ve been hurt, others will see how truly awful the offender is, and my outrage will be justified? Maybe I will allow myself to brood on my anger just for a little while, long enough for them to learn their lesson, but not long enough for me to become bitter. I don’t deserve this, I think often.

In the midst of all my feelings of injustice, anger, hurt and grief at harsh words said and tainted relationships, never before have I thought so hard on the depths God had to go to forgive me, a wretched sinner. I know that I am a sinner. How undeserving am I of the beautiful forgiveness God has given me in Christ, yet it is mine? I know that we’re all sinners. How are undeserving are we all of the way God has welcomed us unworthy creatures back into his fold?

And so again, I can forgive, because God has modelled forgiveness perfectly to me.

As time passes though, I feel as though our reconciliation has not lead to resolution. I keep wondering whether reconciliation necessarily entails fully restored relationships? (I know that Jesus’ death pays our debt and enables us to have a right relationship with God again, but is it possible for us lowly humans?) I find myself frequently revisiting the events, not because I haven’t forgiven people, but because there remains this uneasy sense that all is not quite right. Am I supposed to forgive and forget? Should I be able to move forward from having forgiven, to forgetting what has unfolded? Maybe this indicates that I haven’t forgiven at all?

When God wipes away our sin with the blood of Christ, does he forget our failings?

Soap nuts

I’ve started using soap nutsSaving the world one washload at a time, or so they say.

The recommendation came from a friend who suggested they were gentler on cloth nappies, but also great for your regular load. Now, I won’t mention names, but someone in our household is a bit skeptical of the effectiveness of this non-washing-powder-product, but so far I’ve not received any complaints about smelly laundry.

You will tell me if I begin to smell, won’t you?

Fool

I co-lead a women’s Bible study at college. I really enjoy being able to meet with the other wives to read Galatians and pray – it’s a nice break from the house, plus Izaac and Zoe get to spend some precious daddy/daughter time together.

But last night I wasted this time. I sat there not listening to God’s word, but worrying about the future. I sat there not listening to my sister’s share their lives, but being caught up in my own thoughts. I sat there feeling sorry for myself, as I made a mental list of all the things I wished were easier, tidier, more joyful.

How foolish I am!

Don’t I know that God has my future mapped out and that he is in control? Don’t I know that the things God has planned for me are so much bigger and better than what’s in my head? Don’t I know that God has given me everything I need?

Distractions

What distracts you? Are you distracted by Jesus’ return, or by self-serving sandcastles?

Yesterday in community chapel, we were asked this question.

Paul reminds the Philippians to focus on the end. How foolish it is to start a race, only to fall short of the finish line, having been distracted along the way by the innumerable things vying for your attention. These things are like sandcastles; they will be washed away. Instead, strain forward to what lies ahead. Await the Saviour who will bring transformation to our tired and worn bodies.

Today, I am asking myself:

Am I pressing on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:14), or am I an enemy of the cross of Christ, glorying in my shame and setting my mind on earthly things (Philippians 3:18-19)? Do I spend my days being distracted by the thought of Jesus’ return, or by the minutiae of my earthly existence?

 

 

Sickos

That’s what we are.

I was up vomiting last night. Zoe is down with her first cold today. Izaac is hanging in there at the moment…just.

White noise

Not even the tweet of a bird in flight escapes my daughter’s ears.

I have learnt many new things in the last three months. One of them being that babies with reflux are very light sleepers. At any slight noise Zoe’s eyes snap open, and as she’s yet to learn how to get herself back to sleep, there’s been many frustrating moments when the fully sick car has sped up our street, the excitable uni students/college students have cackled past her window, or on garbage day.*

That was until I discovered the usefulness of white noise. I switch the radio onto the fuzzy, snow storm sound and that usually gets her through most of the sounds that accompany inner west living.

 

*NB// The racket that accompanies college handball is yet to wake her.

OfficePOD

These are very cool.

If I had an office job, I’d want to work from home, just so I could have one of these.

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