Category Archives: Lists

This morning I G(ot)TD

Such a productive morning, which is nice for a change.

I feel as though I’ve had a whole day already, and I’m only just heading off to college.

Things to do for the rest of the day:

  • 1 Corinthians readings for class
  • Keep working on an assignment due next week
  • Make a cleaning schedule to stick on the fridge
  • Start another cowl (stay tuned)
  • Indulge in some catch up TV (trash and decent)
How’s your day looking?

 

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Happy new month!

Can you believe we’re into the 5th one already?

To celebrate (or perhaps commiserate) I give you a list of 5 things that have been a part of my year thus far:

  1. Many enjoyable road trips
  2. Sickness (of many different descriptions)
  3. Rain, rain and more rain (in Brisbane and Sydney)
  4. Lots of exhausting reflection on some of life’s circumstances
  5. Indescribable joy

Why I’m looking forward to NTE*

  1. Getting all patriotic in our nation’s capital
  2. Listening to Don Carson and Richard Chin on the topic of Entrusted with the Gospel
  3. Leading a strand group with Izaac on biblical theology
  4. Re-living my student days (hang on, I’m still a student!)
  5. Hanging out with the Moore College crew
  6. Seeing old friends
  7. My Cockington Green date with a friend
  8. Early morning road-trip on Saturday morning
  9. Seeing missionary friends
  10. The moment when I realise that the other 1400 people are family!

*National Training Event

Today

1. Morning tea with a new friend

2. Make blueberry cake for Bible Study

3. Read through Micah

4. Walk

5. Recycle college notes

6. Clean bird cage

7. Organise dinner to eat with friends tomorrow

 

5 things I’m going to do after exams

  1. Sleep
  2. Finishing knitting my cardi
  3. Sit by my sisters pool and read
  4. Try out new recipes
  5. Drive north with Izaac listening to our favourite tunes

Come fly with me

We live under the flight path, so I’ve grown to love plane-spotting. Here’s my top 5 favourite flying machines and why.

  1. Qantas A380 – a powerful monster, with the familiar  roo and red tail
  2. Rex – reminds me of the trips I used to take home via Armidale
  3. Korean Air – pleasing to the eye as the sky blue palette matches the surroundings
  4. The tiny personal planes – they’re much, much quieter
  5. Emirates – the big red belly makes it an easy spot, it sounds exotic and it has a pretty tail

Do’s and Don’ts: Part 2

Yesterday, I listed the stuff that is good to do and/or say for someone living with infertility. Today, the stuff to steer clear of.

Things not to do and say

  • Don’t assume that everyone’s experience of infertility is the same. Comments such as ‘I know exactly what you’re going through because my friend/sister/colleague went through it’, are rarely helpful.
  • Just relax and it will happen” – saying this is one way to get them NOT to relax!
  • “Don’t worry, you’re still so young“.
  • You can always adopt or do IVF” – although this may be true, it is not the case in all circumstances. As well as this, it tends to sideline the real pain that the couple is experiencing.
  • When are you going to have kids?”
  • “It will happen eventually, just be patient” – God doesn’t make this promise to us in his word.
  • Don’t stop inviting the couple to child related events, or events where there’ll be lots of children. But at the same time, don’t be offended if they decline the offer.
  • It is usually best to not offer advice, unless it’s asked for. This can result in the couple/individual feeling like their unique experience has not been heard or understood. Plus, they’re usually getting a lot of advice of others involved (well meaning families, medical professionals etc).
  • Don’t assume that a couple is supporting each other – infertility can do all sorts of things to a marriage.
  • Don’t assume that other people are caring for the couple or asking after their wellbeing. Be that person.
  • Steer clear of hallmark/clichéd Christian responses, such as ‘God is good’, or ‘God will teach you much in your suffering’. Whilst these may be true, those experiencing infertility may be struggling to relate to God and see his goodness in all of it, and it will sound callous. Instead, remind them of your prayerful concern for them, and perhaps ask them how they are feeling towards God.

As I have already said, everyone’s experience of infertility will be unique, so there will be things on these lists that will apply to some but not others. The struggle with infertility is at the forefront of a lot of people’s lives, giving us another great opportunity to show the love of God to people, as we care for them sensitively with our words and actions.

Do’s and Don’ts: Part 1

A friend of mine recently ran a seminar on infertility for a small group of women who are training in ministry. She asked me to write a list of things that are helpful/unhelpful to say and do for a couple living with infertility. Different things are helpful for different people, but here’s what I came up with.

Things to say and do

  • Be aware of the statistics, 1 in 6 couples will face infertility. We need to be educated and sensitive to this painful reality.
  • Read up on infertility, and suggest any helpful resources to the couple, without forcing it down their throat.
  • Ask them how they are coping. The top three questions to ask are: How are you going? How is your spouse going? How is your marriage (including communication/sex life/relaxation)?
  • The grief associated with infertility can be described as chronic. It comes in ebbs and flows, and so there will be different moments of need for the couple. That is why it is helpful to ask often how the couple is coping.
  • Express your sorrow for them. Don’t feel like you have to ‘keep it together’ in front of them. Often, their tears will be just under the surface, and showing that you are feeling for them in their grief will give them an opportunity to feel comfortable to weep. God has given us tears to help release all of those emotions, so we shouldn’t be afraid to show them. It is very therapeutic! Take a look at Molly Piper’s post on showing brokenhearted love.
  • Send cards and/or emails letting them know that you have been thinking of them/praying for them, and then actually pray for the couple in their trial, but also for yourself and others, that they will know how to love.
  • Promote fellowship – infertility is a ‘silent grief’ and it can be very helpful to try and get the couple out catching up with other people.
  • Ask questions in a way that does not assume someone will be able to have children. For example, rather than asking “Are you planning on having a family?” perhaps ask “What are your plans for the future?”
  • Listen sensitively and reflect back what you hear.
  • Keep talking with your friend about all different aspects of their life – they are not defined by their infertility.
  • Keep on the lookout for signs of depression, which is quite common in couple experiencing infertility. Encourage them to seek professional help if necessary.
  • Be especially considerate around special occasions e.g. Mother’s/Father’s day, Easter, Christmas, christenings etc.
  • Be aware of the sadness involved in hearing pregnancy/birth announcements, and provide opportunity for the couple to share how they are feeling. Be aware that they will often be experiencing mixed emotions (both joy and sadness), which can be confusing for them.
  • If you have children, offer to have the couple over and get them involved in the day to day stuff (some couples might find this too hard, but always good to offer).

Tomorrow, things not to say and do.

5 reasons I like holidaying at home

  1. You don’t have to pack.
  2. All of your usual comforts are close at hand.
  3. You can discover the unique things that your own city has to offer.
  4. It’s cheaper.
  5. You don’t have to unpack.
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